Never Too Late
by chloebeale
Summary: After Fiona confesses her feelings to Imogen on the ferris wheel, she must try to convince her mother that she should return to Degrassi. But when feelings re-emerge for Holly J, Fiona is torn. Should she return to Degrassi and start a relationship with Imogen, or should she stay in New York with her family and the girl she's been in love with for over a year? Fimogen / Folly J.
1. Chapter 1

Atop the ferris wheel, she feels as if she can do absolutely anything. She has conquered her fear of heights, and although she isn't entirely certain that the bolts on this mechanical device will hold, she believes for the first time that they will. Because a few moments earlier, Fiona had conquered another fear-her long-held fear of rejection.

Her heart racing in her chest, the brunette knew as she climbed into the metal seat of the ferris wheel that she had to admit how she felt. She slid into next to Imogen, the object of her affection, and exchanged nervous smiles with her as the operator of the ride secured their seats. Her warm breath hit the cool air as the two of them rose a few feet higher, allowing those in line to take the seat below them. This continued for a good few minutes until the seats were all taken and Fiona looked over at Imogen, watching as her dark eyes examined the horizon.

The two girls were lifted higher still in the brisk evening air, both shivering slightly as the wind hit their exposed faces. It was a moment before either of them spoke.

"Are you as scared as I am?" Fiona asked suddenly.

"Probably." Imogen responded honestly.

"I've...never been a fan of heights." Her eyes drifted downward, fixated on the fact that they were about twenty feet in the air. If they fell from this altitude, they would undoubtedly break their bones.

"It's not the heights I'm scared of." The younger girl's voice wavered, causing Fiona to wonder what exactly she meant by her words. She knew that this was her chance. With an exhale, she plunged in.

"Okay, Imogen, in case I die on this thing, there's something I need to tell you." Her words rang out, hanging in the air along with them.

"Okay." The usually talkative girl was silent, carefully staring at her friend in wait for the rest of whatever it was Fiona needed to tell her. As she inhaled sharply, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach growing to the size of pterodactyls. The way Fiona was looking at her...it made her nervous.

"I..." Fiona had planned this speech out word for word. She had it written on notecards, which were cleverly shoved into the side of her winter boots. But in this moment she remembered the old saying, that actions spoke louder than words. Just as she had taken a chance with her life on this ferris wheel, she was going to take a chance with her friendship with Imogen. Leaning forward, she brought her lips tentatively to Imogen's. Her lips immediately warmed with the contact, giving her the strength to say how she felt.

"Ever since the first week of school, I've had this silly school girl crush on you, and I can't seem to make it go away...which is a big reason why I thought moving to New York would be-"

Imogen listened carefully to her words, but when she mentioned moving to New York, her heart kick started again. With this kiss and all that it meant, she couldn't have her friend leave her forever. Not before they figured out what this meant. She had to let Fiona know her feelings were reciprocated. "Fiona!" She interrupted, the two girls staring intensely into one another's eyes, as if searching. Placing her gloved hand on Fiona's shoulder, Imogen brought herself closer to her friend, their lips meeting a second time. The kiss was different this time, now that each of them knew how the other felt. Fiona felt her own mind spinning at the concept. The last time she kissed someone she liked without first making sure they felt the same way, she'd almost lost her best friend. She was relieved that maybe this meant she wasn't going to lose Imogen after all. And Imogen, well, the pterodactyls had flown away and left her with a warm feeling all over. She smiled as she pulled away from the kiss she had just initiated.

Raising her eyebrows, the spectacled girl admitted what she had been holding on to. "I've wanted to do that for _so_ long." She could hear the soft sigh of relief from Fiona's lips. "I don't know what it means." Imogen didn't want to get Fiona's hopes up, this was something new for her. She'd never had feelings for a girl before, let alone such strong feelings and it scared her.

"I hope it means that you like me." Fiona ventured, not knowing quite what else to say. She was still shocked at Imogen's bravery.

"Could I be more obvious?" Imogen blinked in disbelief. After what she had just said and done, Fiona still wondered how she felt about her? She couldn't believe the usually intelligent brunette could be so thick-headed. But she knew why. Even though she wouldn't admit it, Fiona didn't hold herself in very high regard. Something told Imogen that Fiona wasn't used to people returning her feelings. She was glad that she could do that, though. She couldn't imagine how this situation would have gone had she not returned the feelings her friend had confessed to her.

But after her last statement, Imogen moved away from Fiona, her eyes settling onto nothing in particular as it dawned on her. Her best friend was still leaving her, which meant that these feelings between them didn't matter. It would never go anywhere.

"But you're leaving forever which really, really, REALLY sucks." Imogen emphasized. Her eyes remained fixed on the imaginary spot in front of her, not willing to meet Fiona's eyes. It wasn't fair, there was something real between them and the fact that it wouldn't, couldn't continue, broke her heart. She could feel a lump forming in her throat as she struggled not to cry.

"Well..." Fiona hated seeing Imogen like this. If Imogen returned her feelings, she would just have to find a way to stay in Toronto. She had to make this work. "What if I'm not?"

Imogen turned to her, immediately smiling widely as she did so. Her heart beat loudly in her chest. Her hand found Fiona's and both of them gasped when the ride suddenly jolted. Neither of them had realized that they had stopped, but once they started moving again...

"Whoa." Fiona uttered, her words taking on double meaning as the ride lurched forward, their seat being plunged downward then back up again. Neither of them said much for the rest of the ride, their hands clasped tightly together. Reluctantly Fiona let go as she unfastened the seat belt, holding her hand out again to help Imogen down off the ride. Their feet hit the solid ground and Fiona sighed, relieved she had gotten off the ride in tact.

"See, that wasn't so bad." Imogen teased, knocking into her friend.

"No, it wasn't..." Fiona replied, her eyes finding a wisp of red hair in the distance. As the head turned, she saw Holly J, who gave her a wan smile. Suddenly Fiona felt very cold again and she dropped Imogen's hand, glancing over at her other friend.

Things weren't as simple as they seemed.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the night was bittersweet. Fiona told Holly J about what happened on the ferris wheel and her friend seemed genuinely happy for her. Their twosome became a trio as Imogen joined them, the three of them walking the Frostival circuit, riding rides, eating horrible carnival food and enjoying themselves. As the night drew to a close, Fiona knew she would have to say goodbye to Imogen. "I'll be in the car." Holly J whispered into her friend's ear, removing her hand from the other girl's shoulder and slinking off to the parking lot. This left Imogen and Fiona alone, both looking somberly at one another.

"Let's sit." Fiona suggested, gesturing to the bench nearby.

"Okay." Imogen's voice was tiny in comparison to Fiona's. But the two of them took a seat on the cold bench, and Fiona's hand found her friend's as she struggled to think of what to say. She was never very good at goodbyes.

"I'll be back." She began with a smile, trying to remind Imogen of her promise to try to make things work. She couldn't guarantee it, but she would try her best. Imogen offered her a hesitant smile, as if she didn't believe her. "I will. I don't know what this is between us, but I want to stick around to figure that out. I know it sucks we have to be apart for winter break but maybe it'll give us both time to think. And we'll totally talk all the time."

"I guess. It's just...I just came to terms with my feelings. I don't want to lose my chance before it even begins." Imogen sounded defeated. She sighed, dropping Fiona's hand and not meeting her eyes. Instead her gaze was fixed on the frozen ground below. "And with the time away, you'll probably realize that you don't like me that way, and you'll have no reason to come back to Degrassi. I'll lose you forever." Fiona looked like she was about to interrupt, but the younger girl gave her a stern look as if to say she wasn't finished. "You know I don't make friends easily. You, Eli, you're kind of the only friends I have. And you know just as well as I do that if Eli gets back with Clare..." She was referring to the shared kiss the rumor mill had been spitting out. "Then I'll be history. I'll be back with no one. This isn't just about me liking you. It's about me wanting to be your friend. I'm sick of not being good enough for anyone."

"You_ are_ though. Don't tell yourself that, okay? You're an awesome person. Honestly? I've never met anyone like you before." Fiona admitted with a slight smile. Her hand found Imogen's knee. She knit her eyebrows together. "It's been a long time since I've liked someone this much. I'll find a way to make it work."

Imogen sighed. "Holly J's waiting."

"You're right." Fiona stood up, shoving her hands into her coat pockets. "But you know what? I'm not leaving until ten tomorrow. If you're up for it, maybe you could meet us at the loft and come with us to the airport. I'd..like it if you did."

"Okay."

"So you'll be there?" The curly haired girl asked seriously.

"I will be there." Imogen smiled lightly. She watched as Fiona turned on her heels and began to walk away, her boots clomping loudly as she headed in the direction of the parking lot. Looking down, Imogen noticed a few pieces of paper and she picked them up, recognizing Fiona's handwriting on this pile of notecards. With a curious expression, she read fervently.

Holly J sat inside the vehicle, the heat blasting as she tried to warm herself up. Turning the knob to defrost, she waited for the windshield to thaw and sighed, her hands gripping the steering wheel. As happy as Fiona seemed, she knew that her friend was making a mistake. Staying at Degrassi for Imogen was selfish, especially when her family needed her. She was trying to be supportive, but it was difficult for her, and so she hadn't said much throughout the night. It wasn't that she didn't like Imogen. The girl seemed sweet, albeit a little unusual, but she didn't really seem like Fiona's type. All they had right now was a mild flirtation and a couple of shared kisses, not something worth abandoning a struggling family over, but Holly J would never dream of telling Fiona what to do. She hoped that she could subtly steer her friend in the right direction over the next few weeks.

She was jolted from her thoughts when she heard a knock on the window. Holly J jumped but then remembered Fiona was meeting her and she unlocked the car, smiling softly when the brunette got into the passenger seat beside her. She quickly closed the door, her teeth chattering.

"Brrr. It's freezing out there." She commented, raising her hands to the vents to try and regain sensation in her fingers.

"How'd it go?" Holly J questioned, glancing over at her friend.

"Okay, I guess." She seemed lost in her own thoughts. Holly J leaned over and put her hand on the other girl's shoulder.

"So you said goodbye?"

"Not...exactly." At Holly J's quizzical look, she continued. "I might have invited her to come with us to the airport tomorrow? I just-she looked so...I couldn't say goodbye."

"You're going to have to." Holly J sounded forceful and Fiona looked at her with mild confusion. She wondered why her best friend was being so insensitive.

"I know that, but I don't want to think about it right now, okay?"

"Fi, I'm just trying to be realistic here." Her voice was gentler this time.

"One of us has to be." Fiona murmured.

Holly J couldn't bear seeing her best friend hurt. She pulled her arms around her tightly, the gear shift uncomfortable between them. Fiona's head rested in the crook of her neck and she sighed before pulling away. "We should go." She suggested, reaching for her seatbelt. Nodding, Holly J did the same before putting the car in reverse, deftly pulling out of her parking spot and shifting gears again to get them on their way to the loft. Neither of them spoke, the radio playing softly as Holly J drove, her hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles were white. She tried her best to concentrate on the road instead of the lingering feeling of guilt in her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

The heaviness of the night still upon them, neither Fiona nor Holly J could sleep. The redhead turned her body over and looked at her friend, who was lying there with her eyes on the ceiling. Maybe she'd been wrong. _Maybe Fiona feels more strongly than I realized,_ Holly J thought to herself as she saw the state of depression that her best friend seemed to be in. Immediately she sat up in bed, shifting loudly and causing the brunette's gaze to shift to her.

"Are you okay?" Fiona asked quietly.

"I should be the one asking you that." Holly J countered, regarding the other girl with a mingled expression of concern and...something Fiona couldn't quite make out. Was it pity? The younger girl sat up in bed, offering her friend a smile as consolation.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just trying to figure out what I'm going to say to Imogen tomorrow."

"You really like her, don't you?" Holly J softened.

"Yeah. I do. I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" She seemed so certain before. Why was she faltering now? Holly J couldn't help but wonder what their earlier exchange had been like, but Fiona didn't show any signs of wanting to divulge those details.

"Every girl I like is a different situation. I mean there's you...and then the whole Charlie thing, which was obviously a mistake. I just thought maybe this time would be different. I'm so sick of being alone." Fiona sounded miserable. Holly J hated seeing her this way and wished desperately that there was something she could do.

"You'll find someone, Fi." She encouraged her. She really believed this. But Fiona was such a special person, it would take her a long time to find someone who truly deserved her. Holly J didn't think Imogen was that person, but she didn't really know her well enough to fairly judge. Besides, she was a little biased.

"I just want what you and Declan have." Fiona's words revealed a jealousy that had always been present, even though said jealousy was severely misplaced at the moment.

Holly J stared at her, a bit stunned. "You know we're not together anymore."

"Please. We all know you're going to end up together. It's like some stupid romance movie." She picked at her pillow, an edge to her voice.

"Fi. Fiona. Look at me." Holly J demanded. It took Fiona a moment to comply.

"What?"

"Declan was my first love. They say you'll always love your first love...but it's different. We're not getting back together, okay?" Holly J took a breath. "Just because we both go to Yale, it doesn't fix the problems we had. We're two different people. I just, I don't think we're meant to be. And I'm okay with that."

"Why are you telling me this?" Fiona wondered.

"I...just thought you should know."

"I always felt that if I couldn't be with you, I at least wanted you with him." Fiona admitted. At Holly J's confused look, she continued, explaining why she felt that way. "You know. So you'd always be...close."

"I will. I always will be." Holly J uttered, suddenly grasping for Fiona's hand and holding it more tightly than she intended. "I promise."

"Um, ow." Fiona's eyebrows lifted in confusion about the tightness of Holly J's grasp. Her friend immediately let go, shooting her an apologetic look. "You can't promise that. You're going to meet some wonderful guy, fall head over heels, get married, have kids...and I'll just be me. Alone forever."

"What makes you think you won't be with Imogen?"

"HJ. Come on. I'm not that dumb. I mean yeah we like each other, but that doesn't mean we're going to spend our lives together."

"Do you love her?"

"I..." Fiona laughed softly, shaking her head. "No, of course not. I don't know her that well. Like I said, we like each other. It's a crush, it's not love. It could be, someday, but not if I stay in New York."

"I just want you to be happy. That's _all _I want."

"I know."

Their words hung in the air and Fiona glanced down, her fingers still entangled in her best friend's. An unreadable expression on her face, she pulled her hand away and rose from the bed, smoothing out her pajamas. "Be right back." She announced before making her way out of the bedroom.

Holly J leaned against the headboard, her eyebrows furrowed. It seemed like Fiona was taking this hard, she had barely smiled at all since she'd spoken to Imogen and it was unlike her to be so negative. She wondered if there was anything she could do to help, making a vow to make sure that Fiona had a great time in New York. If her best friend decided that coming back to Degrassi was really what she wanted to do, well, she wouldn't stand in her way. But Holly J wasn't the obstacle-her mother was. Fiona was typically great with convincing people to do things they didn't want to do, but somehow this seemed too serious for even the Coyne charm to change. It was probably dawning on her friend that she really was about to leave Toronto and Degrassi tomorrow, and she might never be back.

Meanwhile, Fiona stood in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror as she splashed cold water on her face. Why couldn't she just go to sleep and get this night over with, say goodbye to Imogen and flash forward to the end of winter break so she could come back to Degrassi? The more she thought about it, the more she realized this was going to be difficult. She had to convince her mother that she should stay in Toronto, but if they were having as many money issues as what everyone said-her mom, the lawyers, etc.-there was no way her family could afford the loft. She sighed, wiping her face with a towel and looking at her reflection. Something else was bothering her. Something huge.

She wasn't ready to return to her bedroom, so Fiona took a seat on the counter, crossing her legs as she turned everything over in her mind. She thought about the kisses she shared with Imogen, how much she'd enjoyed spending time with her for the past few months. Yes, she had a huge crush on Imogen Moreno. She wished it was that simple. She contemplated Holly J in the other room. She'd been away from her for so long, she'd almost forgotten how she felt. Fiona assumed those feelings were dead and gone but the arrival of Holly J brought the return of those feelings, making her even more confused. She was still in love with her best friend. Now she was going to have to make a serious decision. Should she go out of her way to try to make things work with Imogen, or should she stay in New York with her family...and Holly J. To be honest with herself, Fiona really didn't know which she would choose, and she didn't have long to decide. Winter break would fly by and she needed to make the decision as soon as possible. If she were going to attempt to return to Degrassi, there was a lot of prep work to be done. Hopping off the counter, Fiona wiped a stray tear from beneath her eye and opened the bathroom door, ready to face Holly J.

Unaware of how long Fiona had been gone, Holly J was lost in her own thoughts. She had spent so much time here consoling her friend that she'd never got to share anything about her own life. She'd said next to nothing about Yale, which was going very well. She had a lot she wanted to talk about, but with the dark shadow of everything that had happened looming over them, she felt like she didn't have a right to say anything. But she was yanked from her selfish thoughts when she heard the floor creak. Looking up, she saw her best friend. Reaching out a hand to her, she smiled when Fiona accepted it. Holly J pulled her onto the bed and took a pillow, hitting her softly in the face with it. As revenge, Fiona grabbed the other pillow and began pummeling the redhead, and the two of them continued hitting each other until they were giggly and out of breath.

"I needed that." Fiona gasped, dropping the pillow onto the bed and pulling herself into an upright position. Holly J grinned, happy she'd finally provided a distraction. "So, I realize that since you've gotten here it's been all me all the time. You haven't really got a chance to tell me anything. How's Yale? You said you weren't seeing Declan, but have you met any cute guys? Are you acing your classes? Making loads of friends?" She actually sounded interested. Holly J beamed, crossing her arms and wondering where to begin. She had a lot to say and she knew some of it would come as a surprise.

"Welllllll."

"Come on, spill!" Fiona nudged her, waiting for some juicy intel about college life. After all it was only a year away for her and she was dying to know what university was like.

"Yale is great. I'm loving my classes, doing pretty well. I did get a C on this paper but I'm not sweating it, because I think I aced the final. I've made a few friends, my roommate was horrible..." She was deliberately leaving out one aspect of Fiona's questions, but she hoped her friend wouldn't notice.

"Oooh. The roommate, right, that has to be totally weird, living with a stranger. What was so horrible about her?" Fiona asked curiously.

"For one thing, she overplucked her eyebrows. She used fake tanner so much she was oompa loompa orange. And she was just really snooty. She brought boys to the room all the time, I spent half my nights in the library. Luckily I only have one more semester with her." Holly J sighed, remembering her terrible experiences with her roommate Tiffany.

"You never answered my other question. About the boys. Come on, I've been dishing on my love life all night, give me _something_." She said.

"There's nothing to tell. I didn't meet any boys I liked." Holly J was telling the truth. Fiona looked at her skeptically.

"What, but you met some girls?" She snorted at her own joke.

"Um."

The single syllable caught her off guard. First, Fiona's eyes widened. Then she looked confused. Next, hurt. She sat there wordlessly staring at Holly J, her heart pounding. No, this sounded like something from a porno. Girls didn't _really_ go to college to experiment did they? Holly J especially, that just wasn't possible. But something about the way her friend was looking at her confirmed it.

"Kidding!" Holly J laughed, playfully patting her friend on the knee before jumping up from the bed. Fiona wasn't convinced. The look she'd seen on Holly J's face was one of panic. There's no way she'd been kidding...


	4. Chapter 4

The soft morning light drifted through the window pane as the two young girls slumbered. Both were jolted awake at the sound of the cell phone on the table nearby, set to go off at precisely seven. The brunette rose from bed with a groan, turning off the alarm as she turned to her friend. "I'll get breakfast started if you want to take a shower." She murmured before sliding off of the bed and smiling at the other girl. She tugged at her pajamas and slunk across the floor, making her way to the kitchen.

The redhead climbed out of bed, yawning as she glanced out of the window absentmindedly. She thought about last night and how close she'd gotten to accidentally letting something slip to Fiona. She grabbed her bag and carried it to the bathroom, placing it on the counter before taking a towel off the rack. Pulling off her pajamas she climbed into the shower, turning on the water and shivering as the cool water hit her body. She waited for the water to warm up and began to clean herself up, concentrating on her hair first before her body. She rinsed off and turned the knobs, pushing back the shower curtain and finding the towel again. Holly J dried off and put on the clothes she'd picked out for the day, brushing her teeth and her hair before walking down the hallway. The smell of bacon wafted through the loft and she felt her stomach growl as Fiona came into view.

"I made us bacon and eggs, and some toast. Do you want milk or orange juice?" Fiona asked her briskly, wearing her silk robe. Holly J took a seat at the table, where their plates were already prepared.

"Either's fine." She responded.

Fiona grabbed both out of the fridge and her eyes drifted over the date on the milk carton. It was expired. With a sigh, she threw the carton away in the trash can and began pouring the orange juice. "Guess it's OJ for us. Milk's expired." She told Holly J as she sat down across from her, placing a glass in front of her friend.

"That's fine. How'd you sleep?" Her friend asked after swallowing a bite of bacon. She herself hadn't slept well at all, she felt like she hadn't even slept and she knew the bags under her eyes revealed that all too well.

"Alright I guess." Fiona chomped down on her toast. She was nervous about saying goodbye to Imogen this morning. She couldn't decide what exactly she wanted to say. Nothing would sound good enough. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?" She wasn't sure what Fiona was about to ask her but it probably wasn't anything to merit worrying over. She smiled as she waited for her friend to answer her.

"Last night, when I made that joke about the girls, you hesitated. You looked at me like I'd just discovered a huge secret. Then you tried to play it off as a joke...what was that about?"

Holly J's eyes widened a bit and she looked down, not meeting Fiona's eyes. It was a long story and not something she'd wanted to reveal to her best friend. She was afraid that Fiona would judge her harshly or be angry with her. "I'd rather not talk about it." She managed, hoping that the other girl wouldn't push it.

"Why? I'm not going to get mad or anything. Did you actually have a thing with a girl while you were at university?" Fiona's question was far too accurate and she felt her cheeks redden. Holly J pushed her plate away.

"I...was drunk...the first time it happened. Um." She swallowed and stood up suddenly. She hadn't told anyone this story and it felt unusual for the words to leave her mouth. She was telling her lesbian best friend, the girl who had been desperately in love with her for over a year, that she had hooked up with a girl. It wasn't an easy thing to admit. "But yes. She was in my women's studies class and we became friends. There was this party...and we hooked up. I didn't know what it meant. I mean yeah, I was drunk, but I don't know. I never believed that alcohol could change your sexuality like girls try to claim. So I explored it. We hooked up a few more times when I was sober. It didn't work out. That's pretty much it."

"Wow. Does this mean you're..." Fiona couldn't fathom what Holly J had just told her. She stood up as well, her eyebrows knitted together as she contemplated what this meant.

"Bisexual? I guess. Too bad I missed my chance with you, huh?" She joked, nudging her best friend. But there was often truth in humor and the other girl knew that, her heart pounding as she realized what Holly J had just admitted. Neither of them said a word as they looked at each other. Holly J was startled when Fiona moved closer, the younger girl's fingers brushing against hers.

"What if you didn't?" Fiona asked boldly.

"What about Imogen?" Holly J countered. She had been jealous when she first heard about Imogen, the new girl who had apparently stolen Fiona's heart away. She knew that Fiona would make new friends, but the fact that she'd made a new best friend, a girl, that she had a crush on, it felt too much like she was being replaced.

"Are you serious? I've been in love with you for over a year, Holly J. A little crush doesn't even begin to compare. I just thought you'd never be able to...is this really happening?" At Fiona's question, Holly J only nodded. Even if she'd had something to say, she wouldn't have had a chance before Fiona cupped her face in her hands and brought their lips together. Holly J's arms circled her friend's waist and she deepened the kiss, feeling the other girl trembling against her.

Reluctantly pulling away from one another, both girls were smiling. There was a knock at the door. Simultaneously their stomachs dropped. It had to be Imogen. Fiona scrambled toward the entrance, trying to act like the kiss between herself and Holly J hadn't just happened. She opened the front door and revealed a nervous looking Imogen, who was holding a stuffed pig. She smiled sadly. "Good morning." As she handed over the pig, she explained its origin. "I remember how you told me that you used to have a pet pig, so..I got you this. I thought maybe you could cuddle with it and think of me."

Across the room, Holly J rolled her eyes, returning to her breakfast and trying her best not to eavesdrop on the conversation. But she was curious as to what Fiona would have to say after what had just happened between them.

"Oh, um, thanks. That's really sweet." Fiona replied as she took the stuffed animal in her hands. She moved aside for Imogen to come in and closed the door behind her. "I just made breakfast, I think I have some extra if you're hungry."

"No that's okay, I had a poptart in the car. Hi Holly J, how are you?" Imogen greeted as the redhead came into view. Holly J forced a smile.

"Just great."

"I really need to get dressed. I'll be back in a minute." Fiona announced, shooting Holly J an apologetic glance. Imogen wandered over to the table awkwardly and sat down. Neither of them said anything for a minute.

Holly J looked at Imogen out of the corner of her eye as she finished her breakfast. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the younger girl. It was obvious she liked Fiona a lot, but there was no way she could compete with Fiona's long standing feelings for Holly J. Drinking the last of her orange juice, she looked up at Imogen who was studying her.

"Is she all packed up and everything?" Her voice was low. Holly J nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. After she gets dressed we're going to head to the airport." She answered, picking up the plates and glasses from the table and moving them into the kitchen. She poured the rest of the liquid down the sink and the food got thrown in the trash bin before she put the dishes in the sink. Holly J turned on the water and quickly washed them, not wanting to leave dirty dishes in the sink for the entirety of winter break. Imogen stood up and walked into the kitchen after her, leaning against the counter.

"Do you really think she's coming back to Degrassi? She promised she would but..." Imogen sounded insecure about the idea and Holly J didn't have the heart to be totally honest. Instead she decided to fib a little.

"I hope so, Imogen. It's really up to her mom but we're going to try our best to make sure she's back here in January." She tried her best to assure her as she shrugged, rinsing off the dishes and reaching for a dish towel. Imogen handed it to her and she gave her a grateful smile before she began drying off the now clean dishes.

Fiona was in her bedroom, already dressed. She shoved a few more things into a box and stopped, putting her fingers to her lips. Just minutes ago, she'd been kissing Holly J. Just minutes ago, Holly J had been kissing her back. With a smile she turned around and then let out a gasp. Imogen was standing there and she had startled her. The younger girl stepped toward her, reaching for hand. Numbly Fiona gave it to her, feeling Imogen's fingers tangle with hers and getting familiar butterflies in her stomach. _God, this is so messed up,_ Fiona thought.

"I'm going to miss you."


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm going to miss you." Fiona said as Imogen's fingers curled around hers. She immediately regret saying it the moment it left her lips, knowing that Holly J was probably listening from the adjacent room. But seeing Imogen smile at her words made her own lips tug into a smile. She knew that this situation was pretty screwed up and she had no inkling of what would happen while she was away. For all she knew, Holly J could change her mind, or Imogen could find someone else. Either or both of these things could happen. Not knowing is what made it so difficult for her to decide what to do.

"I'll miss you too, Fiona. Who will I hang out with all winter long? I was looking forward to making snow angels with you and building igloos and catching snowflakes on our tongues." Imogen giggled softly, but the disappointment in her eyes told more than her words ever could.

"We'll talk all the time. We can skype, text, talk on the phone...maybe I'll finally beat you at Draw Something." Fiona suggested with a smile. She was startled when Imogen stepped closer to her. The younger girl leaned up and kissed her on the cheek.

"You promise? We'll do all that and more?"

"Uh huh." She meant it. If she would be spending all this time with Holly J, she needed to spend some time with Imogen too, to figure out exactly what she wanted. Exploring her options wasn't wrong...was it? "So are you going with us to the airport?" Fiona broke the silence that had developed between them. Imogen shook her head.

"Nope. I just...wanted to stop by and say goodbye. And remind you of what you'll be missing!" Imogen exclaimed before going in for a kiss. Fiona didn't step away or avoid the kiss. Her hands fell to Imogen's waist and the smaller girl kissed her intensely, her tongue carefully sliding into her mouth. As Fiona felt the butterflies in her stomach, she pulled away. Trying to play it cool, she brought Imogen's hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles softly.

"Don't forget about me." The curly haired girl demanded, her blue eyes locked on the other girl's. Imogen let out a laugh.

"As if I could even do that, Fiona Coyne." She assured her, pulling her arms around her friend and hugging her tightly for the last time. Imogen wasn't sure if she'd even see her again and she could feel the tears coming to her eyes. She couldn't cry in front of Fiona. It would be too embarrassing. Instead she willed the tears away, still holding the older girl close. "Take care of Oinkers, okay? Just squeeze him if you get lonely." Imogen pressed her lips to Fiona's temple before pulling away suddenly, stepping away and feeling odd at the loss of contact. "Goodbye." She sighed, looking at Fiona as if her heart was breaking into a million pieces.

"Imogen..." It killed her seeing that look in her eyes. "I'll call you when the plane lands. And every day while I'm gone." Fiona told her, stepping forward. Imogen nodded, her dark eyes brimming with tears. She stepped out of the room and walked hurriedly through the loft, desperate to get out the door before her tears started flowing freely down her cheeks.

Holly J Sinclair sat on the couch, listening to the words exchanged between Fiona and Imogen. She could feel her heart aching at the conversation, due to how painfully obvious it was how much both girls cared for one another. She wondered if she was being selfish keeping Fiona from Imogen like this. She'd had her chance once. It was only fair for Imogen to have hers. Her head was swimming with thoughts, guilt, pain, confusion. She was still getting used to the idea of being interested in girls - it was a revelation that hadn't been easy for her. She knew that Fiona loved her, probably more than anyone else would, and that was terrifying. It was a lot to live up to. Holly J never understood why Fiona felt the way she did. There was nothing that special about her and it was a lot of pressure. She felt like all she ever did was disappoint her.

Reminded of their first kiss, Holly J replayed the moment in her mind. She remembered both of them being extremely happy about the outcome of the trial with Bobby, and how Fiona had thanked her. In a moment of excitement, her best friend kissed her. It was a little weird, yes, but she didn't really think that much of it until later when she found out that Fiona was in love with her. Immediately upon finding this out she felt awful. Had she been leading her friend on? Some of the things she said, some of the things they'd shared, could come across differently to someone who wanted that. Knowing she couldn't reciprocate Fiona's feelings made her so angry. If anyone deserved to be happy it was her best friend.

Now here she was, a year later. She had the chance to make Fiona very happy. But she wasn't the only one with that chance. Holly J toiled with this in her mind as she listened to the girls in the bedroom. She was ripped from her thoughts, however, when she heard footsteps in the living room. Looking up she saw Imogen, wandering toward the door with a shattered expression on her face. She thought she heard a sob as the younger girl walked past and she stood up, wanting to console her. As she tried to search for the right thing to say, Imogen found the door and was already stepping out of the loft. Holly J watched her exit, startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she faced Fiona and sighed.

"I feel like I just kicked a puppy." Holly J admitted guiltily. Even though Imogen didn't know about what had transpired between herself and Fiona just moments before her arrival, it still made Holly J feel like a terrible person.

"You didn't even do anything. Imagine how I feel." Fiona murmured. "What time is it?" She asked absently as she remembered the plane that herself and Holly J were going to be boarding.

"It's..." Holly J glanced at her cell phone. "_Really_ time for us to go." It was only 9:30, but there would be traffic and their plane was leaving in exactly an hour. The girls scrambled up and grabbed their luggage, pulling their suitcases through the loft. As they exited the building, Fiona wondered if she would ever live here again. Pushing away those thoughts, she loaded their stuff into the trunk of the rental car, slamming it shut before sliding into the passenger's seat. Holly J started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, driving toward the airport as she hummed along to the radio. Fiona watched her as she drove, a small smile forming on her lips.

"So..."

"Yeah?" Holly J asked from beneath her sunglasses.

"Before Imogen came, we had a moment. Do..you want to maybe talk about it?" Fiona was still thrilled about the kiss they had shared and Holly J's big reveal about her recent discovery of her sexual orientation. Holly J was glad her eyes were unreadable right now, and she kept them on the road as she drove.

"Not really. I...I'd rather forget it happened." Holly J lied, thinking back to the look she'd seen on Imogen's face. She couldn't break this girl she didn't even know by letting Fiona settle for her instead. No, Fiona had to return to Toronto. She would just push away her feelings and do what was best. Besides, Fiona had a year left at Degrassi, she should at least be able to finish her senior year. It was only fair.

"_Oh_." Fiona couldn't manage much else. Hearing Holly J say that she'd rather forget what had happened, well, it hurt her. She thought that the kiss had been reciprocated, something special between them, a signal of more to come. But she'd read it wrong somehow. Just because Holly J was bisexual didn't mean she returned her feelings. Her inner monologue of negativity took over and she spent the rest of the car ride staring out the window, trying not to cry.


	6. Chapter 6

When her eyelids fluttered open, she became hyper aware of her surroundings-her best friend's head resting on her shoulder, the other people on the plane shifting in their seats. As Holly J peeked out the window, she realized that the plane had just landed on the airline tarmac and that was what had jolted her awake. Moving her shoulder, Fiona's head dropped slightly before her eyes snapped open, immediately finding her friend's. She scowled.

"Hello to you too. You could've just told me to move." She sounded bitter. Holly J didn't blame her, she knew she had hurt her with what she'd said in the car earlier but it was for the best. Or at least, so she thought.

"No, it's not that - we're here. We're in New York!" Holly J smiled and unbuckled her seatbelt as the flight attendant on the loudspeaker told them that they could do so. It would be a little while before they could exit the plane, as they were in coach. It was the first time Fiona had EVER flown coach and she had complained the whole ride. The other girl was relieved when her friend had finally fallen asleep.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I was out for longer than I thought." She checked her phone and on her twitter feed she saw Imogen, who seemed to be a little happier than she'd left her. Fiona had posted on twitter right before leaving and it seemed that Imogen wrote her tweet not long after. The message was positive: _Excited to see what the future holds! _and left Fiona feeling uncertain. The more she thought about it, the more she was leaning toward coming back to Degrassi, especially with everything that had happened between her and Holly J. She sighed, her finger lingering over the reply icon. Faltering, she decided not to and placed her phone back in her pocket, just in time to catch Holly J staring at her. "What?"

"Did she text you or something?" If Fiona wasn't hearing things, it sounded like Holly J was jealous. She shook her head.

"Nope, I just saw her tweet." She replied, not meeting her friend's eyes. Simultaneously they both let out a sigh and then glanced at each other, smiling a little as they did. "We're okay, right? I mean...I didn't screw things up by.." She dropped her voice a little lower. "By kissing you, did I?" Fiona was worried that things were going to be awkward or that Holly J was upset with her. That was the last thing she wanted. Holly J shook her head vigorously.

"We're great. You didn't screw anything up, Fi. I swear." She held up her pinkie and Fiona beamed, linking her own with Holly J's just like old times. "I missed this. I missed us. Girls at Yale are nothing like you, Fiona."

Fiona made a face. "Oh YEAH, I'm sure they're all so much smarter and more beautiful than I am. Ugh. University girls and their perfect hair and...okay, I might be a little bitter that I'm not there with you. I can't believe I'm doing senior year over again."

Holly J frowned, squeezing Fiona's pinkie with her own before taking her hand instead. She tried to ignore how her fingers tingled as she did so. "You're almost done though. Just a few more months and you're home free. Have you thought about how you're going to convince your mom you should stay at Degrassi?" She wondered aloud.

Fiona sighed at the question because she honestly had no idea what to do except convince her mother that she'd get a job and maybe stay with someone else. She could probably stay with Eli or maybe Imogen...it wouldn't be for that long. She shrugged defeatedly. "I'm not sure yet. I'll figure something out."

"So you_ are _going back then?"

"I want to. I don't really want to finish senior year at Vanderbilt with all those snobs who hate me. Besides I don't even think mom will have the money for their tuition, so I would have to start a whole new school...I shudder to think." Fiona said darkly. She didn't connect with other people very easily and now that she was hitting her stride at Degrassi, she didn't want to have to start all over. "Besides, no one in New York really needs me there. Mom says she wants family close but I don't know, I just don't feel like we are as close as we used to be, all of us..Declan and I talk, yes, but it's different. To be honest, I think he's weirded out that I'm gay. Besides, mom's going to be busy with all this lawyer and court stuff, she's not going to have time for me. And you have your new life...I just don't fit in there anymore."

"Fi." Holly J's voice was fierce. "You do fit into my life. You always will." She wanted to say more, but the people in front of them were forming a line, grabbing their carry on luggage from above and making their way out of the plane.

Both girls got up from their seats and filed into the line, getting their own bags and waiting for the people in front of them to move. The line moved slowly, but within ten or so minutes, they were waiting at the baggage area for their stuff. Out of the corner of her eye, Fiona spotted a familiar face. She smiled to herself, keeping the fact that their chauffeur had arrived a secret for now as her eyes lingered on the baggage claim. Suddenly she saw her suitcase on the conveyor belt and she grabbed it quickly, sitting it down in front of her. She thought she saw Holly J's as well and she leaned over to get it.

The redhead was absently watching the conveyor with everyone's baggage, thinking about how all these bags contained the things each person needed to get through their stay. She wondered where all the different bags were from and who they belonged to. She saw Fiona reach for her bag and she was about to help when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Immediately spinning on her heel, she was going to yell at whatever stranger had decided it was okay to touch her when she saw who it was. Declan stood there with his usual charming smile on his face and he raised his eyebrows and gave a little wave.

"Hello, ladies." He greeted.

Holly J slapped him on the shoulder. "You scared me, jerk! I thought you were some creep..."

"That has yet to be determined." Fiona quipped. Declan only smiled and stepped toward his sister with outstretched arms. With an immediate smile in return, she stepped forward and into his embrace. Holly J stood there and watched as the siblings hugged one another. Finally when they pulled away from each other, Fiona scolded her brother for not enlightening them as to who would be picking them up from the airport. "Declan, you didn't tell us that you were coming to pick us up..I thought our driver would've-" Fiona paused as she remembered they didn't have a driver anymore.

Declan let out a light chuckle. He had been home for about a week and was still getting adjusted to the new Coyne way of living. "I'm still getting used to that idea myself, sis. But I thought it would be a nice surprise anyway." He paused, looking them over. "So are you girls hungry? I was instructed to take you guys out to dinner. Mom will be joining us after her meeting with the lawyers."

"Are you sure we can _afford _to go out to dinner?" Fiona cringed even saying the words. Declan rolled his eyes and grabbed both girl's luggage, pulling the suitcases behind him and waiting for the girls to follow. They exchanged a glance before trailing behind him. The three teenagers made their way to the parking lot, where the family vehicle was parked. Declan opened the trunk and put the luggage in, while Fiona turned to Holly J. "You can ride up front with him if you want."

Holly J laughed. "Uh, no, I'm good. Besides he probably wants to catch up with you. I don't mind riding in the back." She shot Declan a quick smile before climbing into the back seat. Declan lingered there with Fiona, his eyes meeting hers.

"Everything okay?" He asked curiously, noticing some tension between her and Holly J that he hadn't really seen in awhile. Fiona managed a nod and they got into the car. The engine rumbling to life, Declan turned down the music to signal that he wanted to talk. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he caught a glimpse of his sister. "So, how'd the carnival go?"

Neither girl spoke, thinking back to the dramatic events of that evening as well as those from this very morning. Fiona wondered what she was supposed to leave out. It took her a moment to decide that she would just act like everything was normal. She would act like she had no idea about the Holly J thing, and tell Declan all about Imogen. There was also the fact that it might hurt Holly J, which was a bonus. And if she was jealous, well, then maybe that meant something.

Fiona fiddled with her seatbelt before answering, her stomach tangling into nervous knots. Being around Declan and Holly J at the same time was always hard for her. "It was great! A total success if I do say so myself. I rode the ferris wheel and everything!" Declan knew of her long-standing fear of heights. He looked surprised.

"Good for you. You survived the ferris wheel. I've tried for years to make you go on one with me, but to no avail." Declan stopped at the stoplight and glanced back at Holly J in the rear view mirror. "Did you go to the carnival too, Holly J?"

Fiona interrupted. "Frostival. And yes she did...you can ask her about it in a minute, I didn't get to tell you the best part."

"There's more? Gasp! Is there drama? Is there intrigue?"

Rolling her eyes, Fiona felt Holly J's stare. She tried to shake it off as she continued. "Yes, yes. Well, you just said you tried for years to make me go on the ferris wheel. It just so happens it was someone's prodding that got me to finally take the leap! Imogen. You know, the girl I told you about?" Declan could sense that there was something going on with this Imogen the moment his mother had mentioned her. His suspicions were only confirmed for sure when Fiona had told him about her. She had never explicitly stated that she had feelings for this girl, but he knew his sister. Smiling, he nodded and waited for her to tell the rest of the story. "Well, she basically begged me to ride the ferris wheel with her after we rode the carousel. So I got on and I started freaking out a little...and then I kissed her. I kissed Imogen and told her that I had a crush on her." Fiona paused, waiting for Declan to ask what happened next. He just smirked. She let out an exasperated sigh. "AND THEN she kissed me back and told me she liked me too." Letting out a breath, she smiled to herself, peeking back at Holly J to gauge her reaction. In the back seat, she had her arms crossed to her chest, her fingernails digging into her skin. Her eyes were practically glued to the window. So, she was jealous. Fiona felt triumphant and she settled in her seat.

"So is that the whole story? Are you dating now? Because I obviously need to meet this person. I didn't get to meet your last." Declan asked curiously. Not knowing what to say, his sister shrugged, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. He pulled the car into park and glanced back at Holly J, noticing her withdrawn state. "Hey. Cheer up. We're here!" He announced as he took off his seat belt. The other two did the same. Declan stopped Holly J for a moment, watching Fiona approach the door of the restaurant. "Are you okay? You've been acting a little...weird."

Holly J faked a smile. "I'm fine. Let's eat."


	7. Chapter 7

She had spent the last two days moping around her bedroom. Nothing seemed to cheer her up, despite her own best efforts to remain positive. Imogen did not usually allow herself to get so down, but with Fiona away, she felt more alone than ever. Pulling the covers over her head, Imogen sighed, telling herself that she needed to get out of the house and especially out of her bed. It was starting to form in her shape due to how infrequently she'd left the safe space. Even her dad was starting to worry, he'd popped in her bedroom a few times with offers of soup and hugs, but she had sent him away, citing girl problems and telling him she wanted to be left alone. The truth was, Imogen honestly didn't think that Fiona was coming back. The kisses they had shared were all she had to hold on to now and she just kept replaying them in her head, wishing she could've kept Fiona from leaving. She knew she couldn't do that though, Fiona had a lot of family stuff happening and she shouldn't be selfish about all this. As if on cue when she began thinking too much again, she felt something pounce on top of her. Pulling the covers down, she saw Volta, who was eagerly staring at her with an open mouth. The dog panted loudly and Imogen immediately smiled at the sight, placing her hand on his head.

"Do you want to go for a walk, Volta?" She asked him, watching as his tail began to wag. Leaning down, she kissed one of his ears and giggled. "Okay then, let me get my jacket." Most girls wouldn't be caught dead wandering the dog park in their pajamas, but Imogen wasn't most girls, and she didn't care to wear her pj's in public. Besides, she thought they were really cute. Peeling herself from the bed, she went over to her desk and took her jacket from the back of the chair. Volta stood by the door waiting patiently while Imogen slipped on her warm jacket, pulling up the zipper. She grabbed Volta's leash and hooked it onto his collar. "Let's go!" She told him as she stepped out of her bedroom, the dog trailing quickly behind. She walked down the hallway and stopped at her father's office door, giving the wood panel a light knock.

"Yes?" Her father's voice called out.

"Volta and I are going on a walk. I'll be back in a bit." Imogen sang out, already feeling a bit better. She and the bloodhound headed out of the house and toward the dog park, which was conveniently located down the street. She whistled as they walked together, taking in the sun as it set in the sky. "Hmm, it's beautiful tonight, Volta. I'm glad you wanted to get out. I think the fresh air will do me good." The dog let out a gruff bark in reply and she laughed, hurrying to walk alongside her pet as he picked up in speed. He knew where they were going and he always got so excited about the other dogs. Imogen liked seeing the dogs at the park too, there were so many different kinds and it was fun to see her usually quiet and docile bloodhound run around with other dogs.

Her ballet flats slapped against the pavement as she struggled to keep up with Volta. She tugged at his leash to signal him to slow down a bit and he dutifully did so, allowing her to catch up with him. Imogen smiled at her pet, thinking back to when she'd picked him out at the shelter. She had been going through a detective phase, reading Sherlock Holmes and Nancy Drew books vigorously, convincing her parents to buy her all the things she needed to become the next great child detective. One day when she came home after being picked on by the other girls at school, her mother decided that she needed something to cheer her up. So they'd gone to the animal shelter and her parents told her she could pick out anything she wanted. Upon first seeing Volta, her heart beat faster. He was still a puppy, a ball of energy that reminded her of herself. And he was a bloodhound. Everyone knew that bloodhounds were the dog of choice for detectives. She just had to have him, and so that day she went home with a new pet. Her partner in solving crime, Volta - named for how incredibly fast he could run.

As she reached the dog park, the bloodhound's excitement was obvious. He tugged at the leash, trying desperately to get closer to the nearest dog, a healthy-sized St. Bernard. Imogen rolled her eyes and let him go a little, approaching the other dog and immediately sniffing its butt. She glanced up to see the owner of the dog, who was wearing a bemused expression.

"Funny how dogs greet each other, isn't it?" His voice was soft and playful. Imogen managed an awkward giggle.

"Yeah. Um. Hi, I'm Imogen...Moreno." She introduced herself, holding out her free hand for the stranger. He immediately shook it, smiling at her.

"Imogen. Interesting name." He responded, looking down in time to see Volta humping his St. Bernard. His eyebrows raised, he laughed at the sight. "Guess he likes her." Imogen looked embarrassed at the outburst from her dog and she started scolding him, pulling back on his leash as her face burned red. "It's okay, really. Dogs do what dogs do. I don't mind. I don't think she does, either, for the record." He pointed out with a wry grin.

Imogen regarded him with curiosity. "You never told me _your _name."

"Oh, right. Sorry. I'm Chase. This lovely lady," He gestured to the dog. "Is Velma. I went through a Scooby Doo phase. So sue me." The blond boy told her before leaning down and petting her dog. "What's this big guy's name?" He asked as he ran his fingers through Volta's fur. Imogen watched how well Chase interacted with her dog. She leaned down too, tentatively putting her hand on Velma's back. Her hand stroked the dog's fur and her eyes met Chase's.

He seemed nice, she thought as she looked at him for a moment. "Volta." She murmured, putting her hand near Velma's nose. The large dog sniffed her palm before giving it a hearty lick, causing Imogen to giggle lightly. "That tickles." She said before standing back up. Chase did the same and the two of them began walking in tandem with their leashed dogs. As the approached a bench, the boy unhooked the leash and let Velma go, running through the large play area designated for the dogs. Desperately Volta fought against Imogen and she hurriedly unhooked his leash as well, watching as he ran after the other dog. Laughing, Chase took a seat on the bench and Imogen slowly sat beside of him.

"Seems like your dog has a thing for my dog." He told her seriously. "Now what are we

going to do about this?"

Imogen looked confused. She glanced over at the open area where the two dogs were now playing around and wrestling each other. "I..don't know. Have a doggie wedding?" She suggested offhandedly.

Chase chuckled. "That would be interesting, for sure. So, Imogen, tell me about yourself. Where do you go to school? What's it like to be you? What makes you smile? I'm curious. Clearly."

"I go to Degrassi." Imogen began, uncertain as to how much she was going to tell him about herself. Chase put her on edge while simultaneously making her at ease. She didn't know how to react to him. "Everyone says I'm weird. I prefer quirky. There's a whole lot of things that make me smile, ranging from little to big. It just depends." She shrugged, trying to play it cool.

"Degrassi Community School? Sorry, I guess I assumed you were a University girl." Chase sounded disappointed. "But weird is good. I like weird. I take pride in being different, myself." He didn't seem weird to her, he had blond hair and typical good looks, and he was wearing a striped polo and jeans ripped in all the socially acceptable places. Imogen thought he seemed phony somehow. When he noticed the way she was looking at him, he continued. "I know, I don't look it. Pretty boy by day, starving artist by night. I swear, look at my hands." He shoved his hands closer and she inspected them, seeing the different colored paint on his skin.

Imogen nodded. "I believe you." But as she said this, she stood from the bench, calling Volta's name loudly. The dog bounded back over to her, Velma right on his heels. "It was nice to meet you, but I should probably be getting home." She hooked the leash back on Volta and began walking away. Chase followed her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Whatever I did to offend you, I'm sorry. I just-I'm stupid sometimes. Listen, let me make it up to you. Could I take you out to dinner or something?" He prompted. She just looked at him in disbelief. She didn't even know this guy and he was asking her out?

Imogen held her dog's leash tighter, knowing if she wanted to get him to attack this guy, she could. But he didn't seem dangerous, just a little too eager. "No, thank you. I have a girlfriend." She lied, thinking of Fiona. Her heart panged at the thought of the beautiful curly haired girl, hundreds of miles away in New York. Before Chase could say anything else, she walked away, heading back in the direction of her house. Volta followed dutifully behind, less anxious about returning home than he had been about going to the park. "You really need to meet her, Volta," Imogen said absentmindedly to her pet as he trailed along. "I think you would like her. I know I do." Her voice was soft and she took her cell phone out of her pocket. She had spoken to Fiona yesterday after she landed in New York, but it had been a short phone call. She missed her already. Lingering over Fiona's name in her contacts list, she decided to send her a text.

_I hope you're having fun in NYC. It's boring here without you. xo_

Sighing, Imogen pressed send and put the cellular device back in her pocket. She looked down to see Volta's leg in the air. He was peeing on a tree. She looked away. "Sorry." She always felt weird about seeing him go to the bathroom, it wasn't normal to watch people in the bathroom and she felt that courtesy should extend to animals too. "Are you done?" She asked through her fingers. Volta barked. Uncovering her eyes, she gazed down at the bloodhound. "Volta, what am I going to do? I wish I could just hop on a plane to New York and show up at her doorstep, throw pebbles at her window and declare my love like something out of a romantic comedy. I can't do that though. I'm all the way here, she's all the way there. What can I do to show her that I want to be with her?" Imogen hadn't been sure before what she wanted from Fiona. It was scary liking a girl for the first time. But once she got over that concept, she realized she didn't want to lose her. Even if Fiona didn't come back, they could do a long distance thing at least until Imogen finished school. There were tons of art schools in New York, after all. Her phone pinged and she quickly took it out to see Fiona's reply.

_It's been great. Catching up with my brother & everything. He wants to meet you._

Imogen smiled. Fiona had told her twin brother about her. Maybe they could work things out after all. She typed back a reply about how badly she wanted to meet him too and then continued walking home with Volta. When she got home, she put some food and water out for the dog and let her father know she was back before retiring back to her bedroom. She walked over to her desk and picked up the stack of note cards lying there, taking them with her to the bed as she reread for the hundredth time all the things Fiona had meant to say to her that night on the carousel.


	8. Chapter 8

The sound of soft breathing came from the girl beside of her. Holly J turned onto her right side to look at her, Fiona's dark curls fallen in front of her angelic sleeping face. Seeing her best friend so vulnerable, clutching that horrible stuffed pig to her chest, made her heart ache. She wished desperately that she could take back what she said before. In that moment she desired to be in Fiona's arms instead, her fingers gliding across her skin-she longed to kiss her once again, this time the one initiating the contact. She wanted to tell Fiona how she'd thought about her every single day she was away and how she was beginning to fall for her, too. But as she lay there, gazing adoringly at the brunette's sleeping form, all she could do was clutch her chest. Her heart pounded loudly and it felt as if the vital organ was about to explode and seep out of her chest. She couldn't just keep laying here staring at her like this.

Slowly Holly J climbed out of bed, careful not to move too quickly or make too much noise. She didn't want to wake Fiona, who had fallen asleep during their movie marathon. Slipping out of the room, she hurriedly grabbed the robe hanging on the back of the door and slid it over her. She walked into the living room, which was deserted, and wandered around the family home. There were photographs of the Coyne family framed and hung on the wall nearby. One of the photos was of Fiona and Declan as children, dressed to the nines in their parents oversized clothes. They looked precocious; Declan in his shirt and tie that hung to his ankles and Fiona in the floral dress and high heels. She brought her finger to the glass and smiled, wondering what it would've been like to know the Coynes when they were all children.

"I love that picture." A voice called out from behind her. Declan stepped forward, placing his hands on her shoulders. He looked at the picture just as she did, but he saw something different in it. He saw a memory. "Fi and I used to put on these plays for our parents. They could get pretty elaborate, especially at family events, when we'd get all the Coyne children involved. We did an entire production of West Side Story circa Christmas 2002. This picture was taken when Fiona and I were acting out the closing scene of Breakfast at Tiffany's." He chuckled.

Holly J spun around to look at him, her eyes glimmering in the light. "Fiona's favorite movie." She said quietly. Declan reached slowly for her hand and in the moment, she didn't pull away. As her heart was aching from her feelings for Fiona, his touch was comforting. His fingers encircled hers and their eyes met, neither saying a word. Leaning forward, Declan brought his lips to Holly J's forehead. He pulled away to see the strange look on her face.

"Don't worry, HJ. I'm not going to kiss you." Declan promised, squeezing her hand before letting it drop down. "What's going on with you and my sister? You've both been acting unusual ever since I've been around you. Are you guys having a fight?"

Smiling uncertainly, Holly J managed a shrug. She wasn't sure if she could call it a fight, but things were definitely different between them and both of them had been on edge ever since Declan was around. His presence changed their dynamic. It always had. "It's complicated. Girl stuff. It'll be alright." She assured him, although she wasn't sure that it would be.

Declan didn't believe her. Asking her to follow him, he led her over to the oversize leather armchair and gestured for her to sit down. Holly J complied, looking warily up at him as he took a seat on the nearby ottoman. "I know that you and I have history, Holly J. But that doesn't mean you can't open up to me about stuff. You say it's girl stuff, that's fine, I can listen to girl stuff. I won't die or even be annoyed by it. I grew up with Fiona. I'm used to girl stuff. Just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. I don't want you guys to spend the entire time in New York together being weird and snapping at each other. So what is it?"

Damn him for being so understanding and easy to talk to. Declan had things so easy and it never took much for him to have Holly J in the palm of his hand. "You can't tell her I told you." She precluded darkly, causing him to nod in agreement. She cleared her throat. "Okay. Well, Fiona is in love with me."

"Oh. I should've seen that one coming." Declan murmured, furrowing his brow and turning away. He looked back up at Holly J. "For the record, I don't blame her. But I don't get it. I thought she had a thing with this Imogen girl. Did she come onto you or something?"

Holly J shook her head. The first part was easy to admit. This would be much more difficult. "She didn't. I mean, she did, a long time ago, but...yesterday morning we were having a talk about Yale. I told her that while I was there, I started hooking up with someone. A girl. Then I made a joke about missing my chance with Fiona. Only it wasn't really a joke. And she kissed me."

Declan seemed surprised. He just stared at her for a moment, as if trying to register the information. A hand ran through his hair and he narrowed his eyes. "Wow. Okay. And? Is that all there is, or is there more?"

"There's more. Right after we kissed, Imogen came by. They were talking and I heard them and it really seemed like there was something between them. I was jealous, but then I thought maybe Imogen deserved a chance. So later, when Fiona brought up the kiss, I told her I wanted to forget all about it." She paused, feeling Declan's gaze on her. "I wish I could."

Scooting the ottoman closer, Declan's hand moved on top of Holly J's. He licked his lips and his facial expression turned serious. "Are you in love with my sister?" His tone wasn't accusatory, his voice was soft and gentle.

She couldn't meet his eyes, fearing what she would see in them. "I think I'm starting to be." Holly J was barely audible when she admitted this. Declan clasped her hand more tightly, forcing her to look up at him in alarm. "What?"

"If you love her, you have to tell her. Holly J...I'm not going to pretend this isn't weird to me. I mean, I was in love with you for years. I'll probably always love you. But that doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy. And you know how close I am with Fi, how much I love her. If you guys love each other, you should be together. You have to tell her how you feel, before it's too late." Declan dropped her hand and stood up, pushing the ottoman back where he'd gotten it. "She's a great girl, Holly J. Don't break her heart." And with a turn of his heel, he made his way back to his bedroom, leaving the redhead there alone to think about what he had told her.

Getting advice from her ex boyfriend about his sister was beyond weird, but Holly J couldn't help but think how much he cared for her was really sweet. She hadn't expected such a calm reaction from him. She expected him to be angry, hurt, confused. But Declan seemed to understand and he was letting this all go way too easily. It was unlike him. What bothered her the most about what Declan had told her was how right he had been.

Closing the door, Declan allowed himself to crumble. He had put on a smooth front with Holly J, but what she'd told him had completely destroyed his last hope that they would get back together someday. Naively he had believed that someday, somehow they could reunite. But now that his sister was involved, he couldn't touch the situation. He would never do anything to hurt Fiona and now that he knew about the feelings she had for Holly J, he had to abandon his own. He had wondered when it was going to come down to this. Declan and Fiona had always been close growing up, and competitive in a lot of ways. She was frequently jealous of his girlfriends and now he realized it was probably for different reasons than he originally thought. When he found out that his sister preferred the fairer sex, his thoughts had immediately wandered to the possible future situation of he and Fiona falling for the same girl. Little did he know, that had already happened.

His words to Holly J were straightforward. He'd told her to go for it, but that was the last thing he wanted. He was in such turmoil about this already and he'd just found out. His stomach felt like it was bubbling up and he felt sick. Desperate to do something, he grabbed the book on his bedside table and thrust it across the room. It landed with a loud thud after hitting the wall. He took the envelope that had been sitting underneath the book and held it in his hands. Inside was a letter he had written to Holly J that he had been planning on slipping it under her pillow tonight. Angrily, Declan's fingers clasped the edges and he tore it down the middle, then again and again until the tiny scraps of paper littered his floor.

Why, out of all the people in the entire world, did Fiona have to fall for the one girl he loved? It wasn't fair. There were plenty of other people out there for both of them. But both Coynes had fallen for the same girl - Holly J Sinclair.

He tried to recall anything that would have been a sign as to Fiona's feelings, and upon doing so, remembered how jealous she had been in the past when it came to Holly J. He had assumed then that it had to do with Fiona's issues with sharing her brother, but maybe it had been her own feelings for Holly J that had caused her to be so unhappy with the situation. Did his sister's feelings for his (ex) girlfriend really reach that far back? She had acted like she hated Holly J, but maybe that had all been a front for something she was trying her best not to feel.

In his reminiscence, Declan replayed Fiona's coming out in his mind. It had been about a year ago over video chat. He was still at Vanderbilt Prep, finishing up his senior year. He had been doing some web surfing, forgetting that he was signed on skype until he heard the familiar sound of an incoming call.

"_Fi? Hey, how are you?" He asked jovially. Immediately he noticed her distressed expression. He could read her emotions easily, as she had the same giveaways as he himself did. That was one benefit of being twins._

_Fiona looked at him with desperation in her blue eyes. "I need to tell you something."_

_Declan remembered being worried as to what it was she was going to tell him. The last time she had gone so serious on him was when she had tried to tell him about what was happening with Bobby. He had been a total jerk about that, automatically dismissing her claims. He vowed this time to listen to whatever the problem was and do his best to help his sister. _

"_You can tell me anything."_

"_I've had a huge revelation. I don't want to date boys anymore, Declan. I like girls. More than I should. And I'm going to date them now, instead."_

"_What? Is this because of what Bobby did to you? Because not all guys are-"_

"_No, Declan." Tears were running down her cheeks and Declan could feel his heart breaking at the sight. "I never felt anything with a guy. Every guy I ever kissed...I felt nothing. And when I kissed-" She paused before quickly regaining her composure. "Her, it felt like the sky was going to fall down on me. I've never felt like that before." He listened in disbelief of her words. He hadn't expected anything like this. After the long silence, Fiona continued on, trying to get him to say something. "I'm a lesbian. I just want you to accept me, Declan, this is who I've always been. I'm still the same Fiona."_

"_Does mom know?" was all he could think of to say._

_Fiona nodded. "I already told her."_

"_Who did you kiss?" Declan was curious. She immediately clammed up though, not looking at the camera. Obviously she wasn't ready to tell him. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me. Fiona, you honestly can't think this would change how I feel about you. I love you. You're my sister, no matter who you like." He assured her._

If he had known Holly J was the girl that she'd kissed, he would've reacted a lot differently. It was probably better he hadn't known then. Declan put his head in his hands, wondering what was going to happen over the next few weeks the three teenagers would be spending together in such close quarters. He wondered if Holly J had woken Fiona up yet and told her how she felt. They could be doing anything right now, just behind that wall.


	9. Chapter 9

Humming as he walked into the kitchen, Declan smiled widely at his sister before pouring himself a cup of coffee. She gave him a weird look, wondering why in the world he was so peppy this early in the morning. He took a sip of the coffee and grabbed the New York Times lying on the counter. His eyes searched the headlines for a moment before putting the paper back down. A chuckle escaped his lips.

"What are you so happy about, weirdo?" Fiona finally asked.

Declan pulled three tickets from his pocket and waved them in front of the girl's face. "We are going somewhere today. Can you guess where?"

Snapping the tickets out of his hands, Fiona read them to find out their destination. Her eyes widened and she squealed, throwing her arms around Declan. Holly J walked into the kitchen, looking like a zombie. "Uh, morning." She said with suspicion in her voice.

"We're going to CONEY ISLAND!" Flashing the tickets to her friend, she pulled her into the hug, making excited noises. After a moment, the three of them separated, looking awkward.

The three of them had explored New York together once before, but now the dynamic between them had shifted. A few summers ago, Fiona had been the third wheel to Holly J and Declan, but this time Declan felt like the odd one out. He wanted his sister to be happy, and he wished the same for Holly J. If he could reignite their spark, he would at least be able to be happy for them. Besides, it was looking like his chance with Holly J had long passed. He was trying his best not to feel bitter about the whole thing. Thinking back to his conversation with Holly J last night, Declan wondered if he had made an impression. He considered talking to Fiona about it, but she was so sensitive, and he didn't want to make her upset with him. He sighed as he considered this, his gaze drifting to Holly J.

"I've never been there." Holly J's voice broke through the silence as she poured herself a cup of coffee before continuing. "What is there to do?"

Fiona didn't bother to get her own cup of coffee. Instead she grabbed Declan's, sipping slowly at the warm liquid before she answered her friend's question. "Um, there's tons to do. They have rides, movies on the beach in the evenings, the Boardwalk with tons of shops and good food, an aquarium...mom and dad took us a few times when we were younger, but it's been years since we've been there. Declan, this was an awesome idea!" Turning to Holly J, she assured her, "You're going to love it."

"I thought so," Declan replied, slipping the tickets into his shirt pocket. "The tickets are for the ferry we'll be riding over to the island. Although to be precise, it's not so much an island anymore. They're calling it a peninsula, but Coney Peninsula just doesn't have the same ring to it. Anyway, we're leaving on the ferry at two pm sharp." Declan indicated, taking a sip from the cup that Fiona had stolen from him. "I'm going to hop into the shower. You ladies can fight over who gets it after me." He shot them both a knowing smile before heading to the bedroom.

Wondering what that look was all about, Fiona still managed to keep the grin on her face. She couldn't help but think of Imogen, who would've been way more excited than Holly J seemed to go to Coney Island. She leaned against the counter, looking at her best friend. "Aren't you excited?"

Holly J nodded. "Of course I am. I just...I think we need to talk."

"I hate that phrase." Fiona muttered, expecting the worst. She got up from her position on the counter, her blue eyes flickering to Holly J's, waiting to hear whatever was so important.

"I, uh...last night your brother and I talked." Holly J hadn't really thought about what she was going to say. She knew what she felt, but she was normally so composed, and not being prepared for this conversation unnerved her. Deciding to start with the conversation she'd had with Declan probably wasn't the best idea. Fiona's eyebrows knit together in uncertainty and Holly J realized what she must have been thinking-that she was getting back together with Declan. Before Fiona could say anything, Holly J explained. "Not that kind of talk. We talked about you. He noticed that I looked upset and he pushed me to talk about it. So I told him what happened, and how much of a jerk I was. Even though he still has feelings for me, he insisted that I tell you how I feel." She took in a breath.

Fiona moved forward slowly, crossing her arms to her chest. "You already made it clear that you wanted to forget what happened. What else is there to say?" She sounded hurt. Holly J didn't blame her for feeling that way, but she wished she hadn't hurt the person who meant the most to her.

"There is still a lot to be said, Fi. Just because I said I wanted to forget what happened, doesn't mean I can. It's all I've thought about, ever since it happened. I've woken up in the middle of the night, turned over to see you, and wanted nothing more than to kiss you again. But I didn't." She paused, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. "Because I was trying to do what I thought was best. I thought Imogen was better for you. I've hurt you. I had my chance. It isn't fair for me to steal you away, when you guys obviously have something."

Fiona smiled. She actually..._smiled. _Holly J didn't know what to think of it, nothing she'd said had been particularly sweet or by any means that happiness inducing, yet Fiona was smiling at her like she had just proposed. Dropping her arms back down, Fiona found Holly J's hands, while her eyes stared into the other girl's. "You're such an idiot sometimes." She spoke softly, squeezing the girl's fingers with her own. She eased forward, bringing their lips together. The kiss was slow and deliberate, and Fiona's teeth dug carefully into Holly J's bottom lip. Gasping, Holly J pulled away, her face reddening at the contact. "You can't steal me when I've been yours this whole time."

Holly J's breath hitched in her throat, she wondered what on earth she had done to deserve this amazing girl standing before her. She had denied her the first time, pushed her away the second, and now it seemed that Fiona was willing to give her a third chance. She was at a loss for words. Instead, she laughed. Fiona started laughing too, her arms tangling around her best friend's thin body. Her chin rested on Holly J's shoulder and she brought her lips to her freckled cheek. It was that moment that gave her the courage to say what she hadn't been sure of before. "I love you, Fiona." Her voice broke as she admitted it. "I-I don't know what it means, but I know I do. I'm not used to being this scared. But I've never met anyone like you, Fi. I've never been the type of girl that felt inadequate, or like I didn't deserve someone. That's how I feel about you, though. Your love is unconditional. You've been there for me like no one else ever has. You kept being my friend, even though I did horrible things to you. Why?"

"I believe in you." Fiona said, as if it were the simplest answer in the world. "It's so weird hearing you say those things when it's exactly how I feel. I wasn't exactly the best person when we first met. But you stuck around anyway. I fell for you, hard, before I realized that's what it was. You're the first person I've ever loved, Holly J. Even if you do stupid things sometimes, even if you've hurt me, pushed me away-you're my best friend, and I love you. In every single, heart-wrenching way."

Declan reappeared in the doorway, his hair wet. He was dressed in knee length khaki's, a polo shirt and a smile. "You guys made up?" He hinted, noticing their entwined bodies. Even though he was smiling, he could feel his heart beating quickly. Seeing them together like this wasn't easy. He swallowed hard. "I'm really glad." Approaching them, he noted the pajamas they still wore. "Why don't you guys get dressed? I'll make some breakfast." He offered, and they both nodded, peeling their limbs apart and making their way to the bedroom. As they walked away, he wondered what exactly they had said to one another. The only part he'd caught was Fiona admitting that she loved Holly J, but he'd missed the rest of the conversation. He was regretting these tickets, especially now that he had seen them make up. Maybe he'd make an excuse and let them have a couple's retreat to the island. That would be much better than being a third wheel.

He decided to make pancakes, as they were fairly easy to do and filling as well. Declan turned on the television, letting the news play in the background as he worked on their breakfast. His heart felt heavy when he heard another burst of laughter from the bedroom.

Now clothed and perfumed, Fiona and Holly J returned to the living room. Declan pulled the pancakes off the griddle and put them on a plate, bringing them to the dining room table. As the dining room was right off the kitchen and an open room, he could see the two of them standing there. He witnessed his sister's fingers brushing against his ex girlfriend's, and his stomach lurched again. "I made pancakes. Hope that's okay. And as for me, well...I've called you a taxi. I'm going to do something else with my day. I think you two deserve a nice first date. I wouldn't want to be in the way." Fiona heard the drop in Declan's voice and she moved to him, feeling guilty that he was upset.

"You wouldn't be in the way, Declan. Please, come with us." Even though she said this, he could see something else in her eyes. A glimmer of happiness. She wanted to spend the day with Holly J, and he wouldn't stand in between them, even if she had when he had been the one with the redheaded girl standing off to the side. He gave her a sad smile.

"It isn't up for debate. I realized that mom could probably use my help. After all, I'm a law major. I think I could learn something from all this. So I'm taking the car to meet her, and after that we're going to get dinner. And you two need some alone time, to work out...whatever's going on between you." Declan insisted, patting Fiona's shoulder. "Just keep me updated, okay? I couldn't bear it if you two ran off and got married Spinner style, without telling me." He laughed, but neither of them believed it.

"Are you sure?" Holly J's voice rang out as she joined them.

"Positive." He glanced at his watch. "I'd better get going." Without another word, Declan put the tickets down on the table and walked down the hall to the front door. The girls heard it close behind him and they turned to each other, both looking uncertain.

Holly J was the first to speak. "I think he means it. So let's just have fun, for him." She held out her pinkie for Fiona just like old times. Her brunette friend managed a smile and brought out her own pinkie, linking them together.

"For Declan."


End file.
